The other day a friend told me that his hairdresser was telling him how a nice lady I am, after just having met me the other afternoon. It is a compliment, I guess. A nice one too.
Then I began to think, yeah, for an hour I was “nice”. Anyone who’s close enough to me would know that I’m not even close to “nice” – I can be well-mannered, smiley, kind and sweet; coz it’s easy enough to NOT be myself and put up the best performance in the one hour. But give me enough time and one would find that I’m not such an angel – at home I’m impatient, grumpy, annoying, bad-mouth… and the list goes on. That’s probably why it can be tiring to be with people for a long period of time, my “evilness” begins to creep out of the closet. Well, sometimes I am myself shocked at the thought of me being nice.
God knows how I am, but He is still gracious to me. It doesn’t bother Him that I’m un-nice – that’s why He is here. Thank the Lord.
This morning we sent off my husband’s nephew to the airport (well, the bus terminal, onto the bus which will bring him to the airport..). The bus carries many other passengers also travelling to the Sydney International Airport, most of them you could tell are international students. It seems that nothing much has changed since the 80’s when I was an international student – we used to carry so much wherever we went. Of crouse my husband’s nephew was no different – 3 suitcases full of lanoline cream, Australian chocolate and what-not to share with fellow countrymen when he lands home.
Then along came a young lady with just a sling bag on her shoulder. Wow, I began to admire this sight – when was the last time I travel with ease and such carefree? Even when I go to the local market, I would be carrying quite a few things on me, let alone travelling a few thousand miles?! When will I be able to travel without any baggage, I wonder….
“Cast all your anxiety on the Lord, because He cares for you” 1 Peter 5:7
I have always thought this is a cliche verse, “yea, right, you don’t know what I’m going through, of course you can say that to me?!” But hey, doesn’t the Bible tells the truth and the truth only?
Yes, of course it is the truth, but we can make it our truth when we plunge ourselves into it. This is the story of my journey, or plunge as I put it.
Well, it started with an accidental episode on the radio. I caught a snippet of the “Focus on the Family” and the host shared about his anger encounter at home. He shared about the “anger button” his wife pressed on one Easter holiday when her comment came across as undermining his authority as the head of the house. As the husband didn’t want to make a scene by bursting as usual, he prayed in his heart this prayer, “God, I don’t understand this situation and why she said that, even though I feel very angry inside; but I am giving this into your hand, because you understand and you know better than me how to deal with it. I thank you that you have given me a wife who’s made me pray. Amen.”
Shortly after that when the couple was alone again, the wife shared with her husband the reason behind her seemingly “rude” comment. That all fell into place and how glad was the husband that he didn’t blurt out in his usual way – by submitting the situation to God’s hands they were able to enjoy the intimacy God has designed for them; not to mention his little homework on anger management.
I have a lot of negative thoughts in my head all the time – confusion, depression, anxiety, loss, weariness, fear….. you name it, I would have come across it at some stage. I don’t exactly know how to deal with these thoughts except by feeling really angry and useless. Which doesn’t quite work when I live in a community because feelings multiply – try talking to one who sulker and you’d feel all your energy being sapped away.
So today as I heard the snippet I felt this in my heart – I could try the prayer, you know? So the next time when I came across a feeling I didn’t know how to deal with, I prayed this, “God, I don’t exactly know why this feeling is inside of me, but I am giving this into your hand, because you understand and you know better than me how to deal with it. Thank you and amen.”
Things happen when I surrender it to God entirely, He takes over and it’s gone with the wind. Our pastor often says, “if you don’t understand a particular verse in the Bible, park it. Let God know that you don’t understand it but you are willing to park it until one day He reveals it to you.” Well, this is similar. One day, when I am ready, He will reveal to me what it is He wants me to work on.
I have to admit I’m not there yet. Moments come when I still struggle with ill thoughts but yes, casting my anxiety on God, for He cares for me. Amen.
We had a guest preacher today at church and his message was on obedience, drawing from verses in 1 Chronicles 14. Here are the points I took home and would like to share with all:
Knowing our position and purpose in God’s kingdom (verse 2) – David knew that God has establish him king over Israel, it wasn’t his own power or ability, but God’s will. He also knew that him being made king over Israel was part of God’s purpose for His people, not to exalt David but to exalt God over His people. Wherever we are now, whatever circumstance we may be in, God has allowed it, for a purpose – His purpose.
Challenges are everywhere but it’s important to inquire God’s will (verses 8 – 10) – The enemy saw that David was made king and they came to attack him. Being able (well, he did defeat the giant Goliath?!) and strong, David was not short of ideas and courage but yet the first thing the king did was going to seek God’s direction. How unbelievable is that? I don’t remember doing that in my life, I only “seek” God’s will when I’m stuck; even then I would be telling Him what I would like to see happening, rather than seeking His will!
Seek God’s grace in everything we do – it’s often easy to seek and ask God what His will is, but it may not be equally easy to carry it out. Like all parents, our God loves an obedient child (Jesus promised us that when we ask, He’ll answer; when we knock, the door will be opened and when we seek, we’ll find it. Asking for guidance had better come with a humble heart willing to follow – if David had not done what God has told him to do the Philistines would not have been conquered.
Seek God’s grace and guidance over and over again, don’t rely on our past experiences – our minds are clever, they record past incidents and soon after a pattern of circumstance-reaction forms. After the 1st enemy attack, they came again (of course, being God’s children doesn’t come in vain). David could well have followed his past experience, “yep, here they are again, let’s go back to plan A, folks!”. No, the enemy looks the same (depression, fear, rejection,…) but God has different plan for us each time we befall into that trap. He took David and his army on a different route this time, even though the same enemy raided again (verse 13). And guess what, David followed whole-heartedly and won the battle (yet again).
Yes, going back to the basic – seek, ask, follow – like a little child.
Have not written for a long time but a sentence in Daily in Christ devotion today really prompted me to share – “believing the truth and walking by faith is what sets us free” (emphasis mine).
How true? Now I understand why it’s not just plain accepting Christ into our lives that brings us freedom – we will still face trials, hardship, fears, etc. - these bring us down and throw us out. Many complains that life after baptism or confession still hasn’t taken away their blues. But if we walk by faith, that makes the difference - believing and living out the new life that Christ’s death bought for us can (and will) bring out the peace, joy, love in our daily lives. Look at Paul, that’s one good testimony – imagine being imprisoned but still able to sing and praise for God – that’s beyond comprehension until we look at “walking by faith”.
The walk is not without its challenge, but let’s bring Jesus alongside us and it’ll be more peaceful, joyful and lovely.
I’m truly flooded! A new house, uncertain financing, work (and more work!!!) in the office, packing, moving, mum’s renovation job…. wait, but there’s more (ok, that’s how it sounds like at the back of my mind)!? This is really affecting my sanity plus my patience – I’m no longer the nice person to ask when there’s a question, nor am I the cool and calm person I normally am when faced with an emergency, not to mention no-rest in between the different tasks I’m juggling at the moment. Yep, I’ve lost it.
Now, let me practise this:
Oh Lord…. what’s happening? Why does it pour like this when it normally just drizzles?! Please, take this from my cup…. I’m truly not coping. Yes, I’m afraid to see everything fall apart, coz it’ll look soooooo bad when it collapses – it just shows that I’m incapable of keeping everything in the air! Help me to recognize that I’m limited, help me to understand that I can’t be the end-all and help me accept my limited ability (and live up to it!). Give me the ability to learn from this experience, help me to stay cool and honest to all; let this be a testimony to those around me. You be my voice, Lord oh God, and sustain me. Amen.
I am reading Characters Around the Cross written by Tom Houston, it is a book that explores the characters surrounding Jesus’ crucifixion. I was greatly challenged by his first chapter, exploring the characteristics and circumstances surrounding the Jews who were waving the palm leaves and laying down their cloaks for Jesus as he entered Jerusalem on a donkey.
The Jews who were there welcoming and hailing the King of Jews believed Jesus was the Messiah. They knew their old testament well and was convinced that he was the God-sent to save the people, which explains their excitement as Jesus came riding on the donkey. They cheered on and celebrated his arrival, beleiving in their hearts that better days are on its way. After 3 days however, their enthusiasm took a plunge and they demanded for Pilate to crucify Jesus. The author then explored further on how the crowd who knew God’s words so well, witnessed (or heard by the word of mouth) Jesus’ miracles, heard his teachings, amazed by his Godliness and wisdom could give up their enthusiasm so quickly; to such a point as to turn around and asked for his crucifixion! This is how frail and fragile human is – we can easily be swayed – starting with a little doubts and our whole belief system can take a dive before we know it. Just a little pain and we’ll wake up to realise our mortality, and we forget about God’s promise of eternal life; with a little bad influence around us and we’ll forsake the value system we hold onto; just a little remark from a nobody and we’ll forget about our value in God’s eyes. The Jews do not recognize Jesus as their Messiah, because they cannot believe the form of punishment he had gone through. How much better off are we today as believers, when little things surrounding us can just as easily take us away from what we believe on a daily basis?
Heavenly Father, you believe in us now matter what you see inside our hearts. You love us so You gave up Your only son to die for us, so we may be sinless before You. Thank you for your grace. Please remind us daily of our position and privilege in Your kingdom, so that we do not stray or waver. Amen.
Yesterday’s Bible study was on Jesus, His divinity as well as his humanity. One of my favourite scenes in the gospels, Jesus’ prayer in the garden of Gethsamene, was again mentioned. On earth, Jesus has given up his power and status as God, he is no longer all-present, all-knowing and all-able; but yet he was sinless. How did he do it, if he was fully man when he was here on earth? He was in constant fellowship with God the Father, he was in communion with the Holy Spirit and God, tuned in completely and know all about God’s will.
As the pastor explained this, I was filled with awe – I wonder how it would feel like when one is in constant fellowship with God. I mean, there’s no self involved, just God. I cannot imagine it, I truly can’t. It must be feel so good - All that depression, anger, jealousy, hatred, stress, insecurity, etc. etc. etc. will be gone! I’d be singing “What a Wonderful World”!
The fact that Jesus when he was here on earth was truly man intends to give us encouragement – it is possible to enjoy constant fellowship with God here on earth. His days on earth serves to act as a guide for us – his prayers, his obedience and his love. He didn’t only teach, he practised what he preached, he was a living example of a true Christian.
God, it must be awesome to be constantly walking with you! I want that to happen in my Christian life too, I want to have to have that freedom you promised all believers. Lord, I cannot imagine the joy and peace of being in your presence, please show me. Amen.
I am home looking after my mum this week as she is unwell. It has gone on for about 2 weeks and she is starting to look really frail and weak by now. She is usually fairly mobile and energetic, but the fortnight’s worth of fever has taken its toll and has rendered her rather slow.
It is times like this that I am reminded of aging and mortality of the human being. I’m unsure if any of the ancient European emperors were infamous for their dream of fighting mortality, but there’s certainly a fair few of those in the Chinese dynasties. Emperor Qin was definitly one of them, seeking high and low for a remedy to eternal youth and life – even in his death his body was preserved and buried with thousands of tomb warriors, in case he does come back to rule in his grave! How ridiculous!
But this is not something that happens only in history, it’s still around us today. Remember those cosmetic advertisement of “locking in your youth” or “say goodbye to 10-years of aging” – even with what we know today we are still trying to stay young and disassociate ourselves from the reality of aging! When was the last time you hear someone describe themselves as “young at heart”?
I am not sure where I’m going with these thoughts, but sometimes I wonder what is behind all these “anti-aging” business. Is it the fear of death? Or we are just rebellious and think that we can defy the course of nature? Or perhaps we are trying to prove ourselves, that we are not mere mortals and we can actually control our own courses? I don’t know, it’s just interesting….
Little kids love to ask this, “but… why???????”, usually emphasis around “why” when they were told some sort of a truth – like “do not bite your nails” or “it is getting late”. Usually there’s a sensible answer to them and they can appreciate the truth, other times it may not even be something an average adult can answer – like “why is the sky blue?” or “why is there day and night?”. The answer may be just, “because that’s the way it is!”
God gives us wisdom to ask the questions “why”, but it may not be a straightforward thing we can understand easily. That’s why God says in Isaiah 55:9,
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
I love questioning, and it often gets me into disastrous corners. In Chinese there’s a term “digging into the tip of a bull’s horn” – reasoning to the n-th degree until I am surrounded by darkness with no “exit” sign anywhere to be found.
The Bible gives one simple answer to a lot of affliction – it’s due to sinfulness of the human race. The Bible also gives many examples of how to silent those questions – reason with God. He is the only know-all. I love my pastor’s advice at a Bible study night – “when you have an issue with a passage, pray and ask for wisdom; if however you still do not receive any insight, park it and believe that the Lord will have the answer for you when one day you are ready for it.”
Yes Lord, I do not have the answer to all the questions, You do. You know our hearts and everything else. Give me the wisdom and patience to leave an issue behind and believe that You will reveal to me the truth the day I am ready. Amen.
