This morning I struggled with a prayer of thanksgiving. I forgot where God is. How did I lose it all? How did giving thanks become superficial? Since when did I lose heart in prayers?

So I went back in memory. I don’t have battle wins as big as David’s to boost my God-confidence; or parting of the Red Sea like Moses did.

But God is in my life, how big or small the miracles are, He is in my life. He plucked me out of mirry clay (figuratively…). He brought me to see His grace, when I’ve come from nowhere. He gave me this life and I had not paid a price (thought I live with the consequences). He comforted and assured me of His presence when I was in doubt. Now I’m again reminded that was when I met my first love and that’s all it matters. Let me not forget this first love, not straybfrom it. Amen.


Today’s resolution is I want to learn to chat with God, because He is a good listener, better than anyone else; He longs for me to yearn for His company, more than anyone else.

It reminds me of the book I’ve read a long time back, Father heart of God, while I cannot remember the story but I’m reminded of God’s longing for us.

Lord, may my longing for you be more and more each day, so that I’m dependent on you alone for my joy and passion. Amen

Reading Psalm 146:5-6 is very inspiring, because it puts me in my place.

Instead of remembering who God is – the almighty who is bigger than our circumstances (well hello, He created this universe?!) – I constantly look to Him to fulfill my “need”. The psalm says He’s the creator and our hope and the truth. Dwell on that, and does that not put us in our rightful place?

Our response? Praise Him. Be glad in Him. Live out the hope He gives. Amen.

2010 Jan 9

My mother has disowned me.

Yes.  Disregarded my phone calls, ignored my social media post.

It feels weird and surreal, but I know I’ve brought this upon myself – I did something children shouldn’t do to elders.  As a result, I’ve got to live with the consequence.

This got me thinking, is this how separation from God feels like?  When God sees sins, He turns His face away.  We cannot look into God’s eyes because we know our sin, how dirty we are.  

No matter how good we may be in other areas of our lives – and we’d strive to do well in many other things to fill this inadequate feeling – it doesn’t take away the void of God’s doting.

I believe God uses everything in our lives, even our sins, to teach us about Himself.  So I pray that the hurt I’ve brought upon mum will heal; and this heartache will not be in vain – that I learn my lesson in life and God.  amen.

2017 Dec 22

It’s leading up to Chrismas.  Last Sunday’s sermon was about Jesus’s mission, per God’s instruction and design, not man’s.   Today’s devotion too reminded me the goodness of God’s salvation plan – to reconcile men to God.  How more wonderful can that get?  Why were the Israelites dissatisfied with that?

Today I think I can feel a little bit of how the Israelites might have felt around Jesus’s crucifixion.  They had been suppressed, ruled over, walked over even; for an awfully long time.  Justice isn’t there, the memory of a great Israel nation is long forgotten by all.  They want a king, a ruler who would bring that glory back.

Today I too want Jesus to come out as the (my) super power, trample those unjust people and fly that flag of glory over the spoil – move over, you horrible peoples!!!

But God’s got a different plan.  His dream of a kingdom is grand-er – the entire world, not just Israel.  His timing is different – not here and now.  His justice is different – He gives men a chance to repent, to win them all – while the Israelites call for others to perish, so that they may be lifted high.

Sometimes it’s really hard to submit to God’s plan and purpose, coz I think I know better.  But I don’t.  How can I when I’m only a speck.  So, revelation of the day, move over, me, so that He may thrive abd do His wonders.

2017 Nov 28

Have just returned from a holiday and back to the daily grind.  This break from work had taught me a few things:

  1. take work less seriously and I am only paid the 7.5 hours to contribute my expertise.  My family, friends and God need me for the other 16.5 hours. 
  2. my spiritual health is on a slippery slope and I didn’t care to put a stop to it.  Lucky for me, God won’t give up as easily as I would, and He’s standing by calling out all the time (but I’ve had earplugs on).
  3. it is so easy to brush God aside, as easily as to pick it up – it’s a choice.  So, instead of reading a fiction to pass time, speak to God – that is equally satisfying and relaxing.

Now, the decision is mine – God has spoken, what do I choose?  Live by my flesh or by His power?  Let’s visit this in a week’s time for the verdict!

2017 Sep 27

​Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.
2 Corinthians 3:17 KJV