Archive for November, 2010

Our pastor was doing a series on prayer on the regular Sunday service and this weekend was the end of it.

It wasn’t particularly exciting – we all know about the “theory” on prayers – do it regularly, it’s a conversation between God and us, God loves it, it’s spiritual…. – what more do we need to learn except to get to it!?

But one thing really stood out for me this week.  On any particular day when we pray for our non-believing friends and relatives, one thing I usually pray is ask God to “open their eyes and hearts so that they may know the Lord.”  Well, how about this, the pastor suggested, “open up MY eyes and heart, Lord, teach me ways to bring Christ’s love into their lives; show me areas where they need your provision and love.”?

It’s true, without knowing what the non-believers need we can’t fill the void that this world cannot offer.  Remembering the first time I could believe in the Lord’s provision was when I could not find comfort from worldly things – the peace that believing in a living God offered.


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It’s back!

Had been quite busy and hectic of late from moving between jobs plus nursing a stubborn bug.  Being at a new place is totally cool but daunting at the same time as I figure out new ways of doing things, befriending, new rules and regulations.  I remember the security commenting, “they are all very quiet to begin with, just wait till they are used to the place!” on all newbies 🙂  It’s true, at a new place, I try awfully hard to be inconspicuous –  not making a sound even when I walk to my desk.

It’s all good for the first couple of weeks – learning, reading and working on practically nothing “productive” at all.  Then it all began to look a little challenging – random phone calls seeking information and guess what?  I was not able to respond within seconds of hearing the question!

Dealing with “uselessness” is rather confronting.  In my “past life” (previous job) I was the “knowledge bank” – people CALLED me to confirm they have given the right advice.  Information was at the tip of my tongue and I could work my ways around things blind-folded.

I started to have sleepless nights.  Okay, perhaps that’s a little exaggerated – I began to fall asleep less easily.  I would doubt, at the verge of falling asleep, will I ever go back to being a subject expert?  Perhaps I’ll not pick up this stuff and I’ll fail my probation?  Perhaps I’m not as good as I thought I was???

Ha, this last thought is the killer.  I thought I was good?  That’s an understatement – the truth was, I thought I was INDISPENSABLE!  As I transitioned from a know-all to a know-bugger-all, I couldn’t deal with it.  I kept looking for ways to be in-control again.  Everyday I kept learning so hard so that I could prove to myself (and my new colleagues) that I am a good bargain.

Until I got real tired of myself.  Yea, if there’s anything that could wear you out, it’s trying to prove yourself all the time.  I thought I’m all over this – I am God’s wonderful creation and I need not acknowledgment – but God know better that I actually am not fully over this.  I don’t know if this is a big joke, perhaps this could be my version of “thorn in my flesh”?

Yes Lord, there’s nothing I can do without you.  Teach me how to rely on you daily and surrender myself daily to your provision and love, so that I may not be in want of other things and people’s false comfort.  Amen.

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A father’s love

I wasn’t at the service today but my husband brought back a synopsis of the message – God’s unfailing love.  The pastor used a very touching story and You Tube video to illustrate it – Team Hoyt – a father and son’s journey through miles started with his son’s “Dad, when I’m running, it feels like I’m not handicapped.”

It doesn’t get any closer to describing God’s love for us – “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Matthew 7:11.


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