Archive for January, 2013

Recently this verse keeps coming up in my mind, Matthew 5:30 – cut it off and throw it away.  I want to know if it’s a message from God, did He put this thought in my head?  I really don’t know.  This “cutting off my right hand” feels really painful.  It’s certainly an easy way out, if I can’t deal with it, cutting it off is an easier option.  But, does it mean I’m running away from the problem?  What if it’s actually something God has allowed for me to grow?

I can only keep praying for God’s revelation.


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Still on the topic of love.

All of us look for love at some points in our lives. We may not realise it but that’s the cause of our upset feelings.

For example, why do the manicure and facial packages come with a tag of “pamper package”? Well, women look for love in all the wrong places – pamper packages, retail therapy, comfort food – just to name a few! After the 90-minute session is up, or we have that perfect bright pink dress, or the bar of chocolate; we still feel empty inside! These things do not fill our inside up, only something intangible can do the job. Only love can.

And it’s not the love-today-gone-tomorrow type of love. God’s love. He can satisfy us. Only He is able to. Why? Because He knows what we need as He had created us. He knows us inside and out. Hallelujah.

Reminds me of a beautiful song by Whitney – RIP – I always love her voice.

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Since Sunday’s revelation, I have been praying (albeit intermittently) for love of Christ to be revealed to me. I realized at that point in time, I am incomplete without knowing for sure what His love entails, how deep and wide and high it is.

Sometimes I fear the answering of a prayer, and this is probably one of those times. This morning I was bombarded with thoughts of love, or rather, unlovingness that is in me. Incidents after incidents between getting out of bed to when I landed in the office steered me to see my selfishness; which very quickly turned into condemnations, deafening condemnations and mockery in my head. So much so I wasn’t sure if that’s God speaking to me or the evil one or my mind playing tricks or….. How can this voice know so much? It’s gotta be true!?

Something at the back of my head flashes a warning light, probably too dim to get real attention from me. Too dim. Can’t see it properly…..

I could only envelop myself in silence, because no one would understand; I can’t explain properly and even if I try, it will come out as a complaint; and God? Well, what’s God gotta do with a selfish person anyway? I am condemned alright, to the core.

Glad to be in the office, that’s a safe haven – don’t need emotion or head, just mechanical skills necessary. Safe.

Intermittently the voices continued, but easily drowned out by work.

But God ain’t leaving me alone. This bright spark came and I googled ‘condemnation in love’. Don’t you just love google?

The truth revealed – God’s words say there is no condemnation in Christ (Romans 8:1), and Jesus is not here to condemn (John 3:17).

Hallelujah! Did not people say God’s words are sharper than any double edged sword! There you go,cutting right at where it’s needed!!!!

Lesson in love? There is no fear in love (1 John 4:18) – fear comes out of condemnation, not from love. God loves us so much and He is the perfect love, and perfect love drives out fear.

Thank you Lord, I say, thank you Lord. You will not leave or forsake me, for Your name’s sake. Reveal to me where I am lacking, because that is where I need Christ the most – may Christ completes me, until I am in my resurrected body in heaven. Amen.

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The leader’s opening prayer at church today struck me – Father, you are the source of love.

That’s right, our Lord IS the source of love – He is the author of love, He created love.  He loved us first, even before we knew Him.  We can love, only if we had learnt it from Him.

Thank you, Lord, for you have shown me love, through Jesus.  You also showed me love through all the people you have placed around me – friends, family, brothers and sisters – I have never lacked these beautiful people, your instruments, around me.  Let me learn more about your love, the depth of your love, such that I can be an instruments to your people as they have been yours.  Amen.

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