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This morning I struggled with a prayer of thanksgiving. I forgot where God is. How did I lose it all? How did giving thanks become superficial? Since when did I lose heart in prayers?

So I went back in memory. I don’t have battle wins as big as David’s to boost my God-confidence; or parting of the Red Sea like Moses did.

But God is in my life, how big or small the miracles are, He is in my life. He plucked me out of mirry clay (figuratively…). He brought me to see His grace, when I’ve come from nowhere. He gave me this life and I had not paid a price (thought I live with the consequences). He comforted and assured me of His presence when I was in doubt. Now I’m again reminded that was when I met my first love and that’s all it matters. Let me not forget this first love, not straybfrom it. Amen.

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Today’s resolution is I want to learn to chat with God, because He is a good listener, better than anyone else; He longs for me to yearn for His company, more than anyone else.

It reminds me of the book I’ve read a long time back, Father heart of God, while I cannot remember the story but I’m reminded of God’s longing for us.

Lord, may my longing for you be more and more each day, so that I’m dependent on you alone for my joy and passion. Amen

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My mother has disowned me.

Yes.  Disregarded my phone calls, ignored my social media post.

It feels weird and surreal, but I know I’ve brought this upon myself – I did something children shouldn’t do to elders.  As a result, I’ve got to live with the consequence.

This got me thinking, is this how separation from God feels like?  When God sees sins, He turns His face away.  We cannot look into God’s eyes because we know our sin, how dirty we are.  

No matter how good we may be in other areas of our lives – and we’d strive to do well in many other things to fill this inadequate feeling – it doesn’t take away the void of God’s doting.

I believe God uses everything in our lives, even our sins, to teach us about Himself.  So I pray that the hurt I’ve brought upon mum will heal; and this heartache will not be in vain – that I learn my lesson in life and God.  amen.

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It’s leading up to Chrismas.  Last Sunday’s sermon was about Jesus’s mission, per God’s instruction and design, not man’s.   Today’s devotion too reminded me the goodness of God’s salvation plan – to reconcile men to God.  How more wonderful can that get?  Why were the Israelites dissatisfied with that?

Today I think I can feel a little bit of how the Israelites might have felt around Jesus’s crucifixion.  They had been suppressed, ruled over, walked over even; for an awfully long time.  Justice isn’t there, the memory of a great Israel nation is long forgotten by all.  They want a king, a ruler who would bring that glory back.

Today I too want Jesus to come out as the (my) super power, trample those unjust people and fly that flag of glory over the spoil – move over, you horrible peoples!!!

But God’s got a different plan.  His dream of a kingdom is grand-er – the entire world, not just Israel.  His timing is different – not here and now.  His justice is different – He gives men a chance to repent, to win them all – while the Israelites call for others to perish, so that they may be lifted high.

Sometimes it’s really hard to submit to God’s plan and purpose, coz I think I know better.  But I don’t.  How can I when I’m only a speck.  So, revelation of the day, move over, me, so that He may thrive abd do His wonders.

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2017 Sep 27

​Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.
2 Corinthians 3:17 KJV

http://bible.com/1/2co.3.17.KJV

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Whatever human tries to do, it is inspired by nature, created by God.  We don’t create or start anything new, our ideas are from God.

Think flying.  Where do you think that had come from?  Birds.  Yes, who had created the birds?

Ever seen a flick of inflight birds?  I see them today, and they look awfully alike to the wonder fireworks try to depict. 

The next time I praise human hands, let me look to my Creator.

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2017 Jan 19

God clothes the lilies of the field, and they are sure more than just a pretty face….

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