The pastor shared with us what God had revealed to him, His promise to him many years back.  His sermon ended with an encouragement to all that we shouldn’t let go of God’s promise to us, but remember that no matter what challenge we may come across, trust Him in keeping His promise.

That was a great message, as I think back to what God had promised to me.  It is not a grand promise of making me king over Israel, but it was something for me that He will keep.  That day as I stood up in despair and confusion, I heard Him say “I’ve got you, do not worry.”  I should remember that today, and for a long time to come.

God, thank you for your promise, thank you for reminding me.  May I hang on to it all the days of my life, so that I do not stray from your sight.  Amen, thank you that You have got me, many years back, so I get to live today.

2017 Jan 19

God clothes the lilies of the field, and they are sure more than just a pretty face….

Very good song to start devotion time.

2017 Jan 8

Sometimes I wonder what God tries to say to me, today I think I got it loud and clear – attended 2 church services and took away similar messages from both.  Have personal time with God.  Know my Savior.  Rely and submit to Him.  Trust. Then I shall hear and know what He has in place for me, or why I am where  I am.

Sounds like a plan, for the new year.  Thank you Lord.  May 2017 be blessed, really blessed.

Never been a fan of new year resolution.

But perhaps THE year to start. To change some false beliefs.

1. I can change.  I am within my control.

2.  There’s nothing wrong with conflicts. Don’t need to avoid it like a plague, and definitely not to be stressed when it isn’t within my control.

3.  Admit there’s no value in arguments.  No one needs to be right all the time.  And can’t be, for that matter.

4.  Don’t sweat over none value-adding stuff.  Arguing being one of them.

5.  Write more blog posts.

Let’s see how I go.  Happy new year to all.

2016 Dec 30

I’m sorry, there’s too much history in there.  Too much reminding of the past, of my mistakes, which I wish I could forget.  Too much blames going on.  Too much wrong I cannot forgive myself for.  I’d like to get away from it all, but I can’t, the past keeps coming back to haunt me.  

How does one heal from the past, I’d like to know, when there’s no running away? They say Jesus can, which I do not doubt but just how do I allow Him to heal?  I thought many times that I had gotten over the past, but how wrong was I!!!

God, I need healing, please heal me.  I don’t know how to submit, I know that’s the way to healing, but I don’t know how to do that.  Help me.  Amen.

After reading posts on her struggle with ED (see www.beautybeyondbones.com), I realied that with any sort of disorders, it attacks by eating you away; physically or emotionally or spiritually.

For the last week thoughts of worthlessness crept back.  I can’t recall what had triggered it, but probably to do with me allowing thoughts of hatred into my head.  Maybe that had let the guard down.

Once the thoughts are in, the fear paralyses you that you would lock yourself out from others; and that’s the trick, isolation.  The devil works beautifully when you have no one around to keep you accountable.  If nothing else, it encourages you to focus on yourself – I’m feeling depressed, I’ve been treated unfairly, I’m the victim, there’s no one to love me – the list of thoughts continue and fear kicks in.

That’s why one can be trapped in this state for long period of time.  Without will power to come out from this state, you can indulge in your negative thoughts as long as you wish.  It’s horrible and lonely to be there, but you are well deceived by now you’d think there’s no other way.

But there is.  Talk to a friend.  Open up.  Write a blog post.  Just take a breath and be brave.  Walk out of it.